It’s no secret that I love to travel — I’ve probably said it (and posted about it) more times than I can count. But it’s only in the last year or two that I properly started solo travelling. Social media is full of women confidently jetting off on their own, exploring new countries like it’s no big deal — and honestly, I love that for them. But for me, and probably for a lot of people who juggle more than one culture, it hasn’t always felt that simple. (Big thanks to Sahaj Kaur Kohli for helping put the right words to that experience!)

As a second-generation South Asian woman, raised in the UK with both Indian and British influences, I’ve grown up navigating two very different worlds. One side values independence, adventure, and figuring things out for yourself. The other leans into safety, community, and sticking to the script. So when it came to solo travel, it wasn’t just about booking flights — it was about gently challenging the expectations I’d grown up with, while still honouring where I come from

The emotional baggage we carry (before even packing a bag)

However when I first travelled by myself, I did so very quietly. Hiding it from my family, for the fear of judgement or criticism of a girl, going to a country abroad by herself- frankly being ‘too independent’.

You may ask why? From what others can see, I AM an independent girl, who moved out when she was 18, and has been living her life as a fully qualified doctor for years now. So why the hiding? Why the guilt?

And your questions would be valid, and ones I have asked myself again and again in the past. Why can I be independent in one part of my life but not another. The answer is sadly just as complicated as the question.

The expectations we place on ourselves is just as important to assess as the expectations placed on us by others. For me these expectations from my family were different. Work and academics were and are considered very important and are prioritised. Financial stability secondary to this. So, holidays (or vacations for you guys outside of the UK), were considered a luxury.

Today, as an adult I find this easier to understand. My father, who was the sole earner in the house when we came to the UK, had to support our family as well as send money back to India to support his family and his sisters (the expectations placed on him as the eldest son). As such, our financial situation wasn’t brilliant. Going on holidays (to India, or eventually to places outside of this) were always filled with anxiety, anger, emotions just before we left. So is it a wonder they may consider that I am throwing my money away on something, which may need to be saved for a rainy day.

Let’s not forget the other aspects of this. The sense of community that south Asian culture brings is amazing. Something I truly value from my roots (and have grown to appreciate more as I have grown older). In our society, community isn’t there to force people together (you may have heard of joint households- and the thought of survival with the dreaded mother in law), but to support each other, bring different kinds of education (be it spiritual, religious, financial or educational) and provide it under one household. The thought of living by yourself, or travelling without any sort of community that are your friends or partner, illicit, what I imagine as fear of the unknown. And this burden they place upon you- or me- or us. Essentially asking the questions ‘why would you put yourself in danger when your life here is stable? Why would you choose discomfort when we worked so hard to avoid it’.

So why would anyone want to travel?

Did you ever find yourself at school, not able to go out, explaining that you ‘just weren’t allowed’, not understanding why there were things you couldn’t do?

Does it translate into today? Having one personality for work, one for home? This certainly happened to me, I found myself having more ‘British’ culture at school and work and more of an Indian culture at home. I spoke Hindi at the dining table, did everything my parents asked of me, and didn’t question it, like ‘a good Indian girl’ is supposed to. At school, I would talk about boys (even though the idea of them scared me), and lived my life as independently as I could AT SCHOOL, pretending to have a boyfriend very early on (let’s cut a teenage girl some slack), due to the shame of knowing I would never be allowed to have one. But where was I in the middle of all of this?

No matter where you are in your journey, whether you live with your family, on your own, with your spouse, or are single…there is something that I have found that travelling solo offers everyone. Namely…freedom, and lack of judgement. People will always judge who they think you are…but you no longer have to be one or the other group of people. You are just you. No pleasing others, just enjoying a culture, a space, a landscape without any judgement. Not to mention learning new ways of living. After all, it is said that ‘the world is a book, and those who do not travel only read one page’ (Augustine of Hippo).

Tackling these conversations

There is art to balancing safety, trust and generational anxiety is tricky, but as everything goes, starts with a conversation.

People don’t generally trust what they don’t know, or have not experienced. Knowing this is so helpful! Sadly, you can’t just get up and leave for a month, and expect your family to be okay with this, especially if like mine, they know as you as the quiet girl who colours within the lines (as untrue as this might be). They need to believe that you can do this too. So here are a few tips of how to navigate this:

1. Start with a smaller journey- to a place they perceive as ‘safer’. After the first one goes well, the subsequent ones will gain a bit of trust.
2. Involve them early! – remember that sense of community? Yep! You can still have that with your family (it’s a huge plus and a great support system when used in the right way). If spreadsheets are your thing- go for it! Build one early and get going with it. If not (like me)- keep them involved and tell them about the hotel you’re staying at (with the reviews- showing that this is something you’ve looked into to keep yourself safe), visa requirement checks that you have done, and travel insurance you have taken out!
3. Check in regularly- this was a necessity for my parents when I went abroad solo for the first time. I would call my mum on FaceTime every morning, and make little CapCut reels about my day, just for my family to see what I’ve been up to. It kept them involved in my life, and honestly made our bond stronger.
4. Share locations where necessary- if I was taking a bolt somewhere, I would send them the little link, which allowed them to track my journey. Being transparent, may seem difficult, and a heavier price than many of our Caucasian counterparts have to pay, but it’s a journey. Gaining trust takes time, and we have our end goal in mind.
5. Show responsibility at home- as I said earlier, for many of our parents financial stability can rock the boat. The thought of you spending however much money on yourself seems outrageous to them. My parents even to this day don’t like me paying for anything, thinking I should save everything I possibly can, even if I’m spending it on them. So again budget spreadsheets, packing lists may be helpful for you. It’s up to you if you want to share this, but having the costs on the tip of your tongue and knowing your budgets will help with the guilt that will undoubtedly come.
6. The what if list is super important to have! Emergency contact numbers for your local place- eg calling the ambulance, getting to the embassy, having scans of your passport with you. Make sure you are prepped for an emergency- as you would be the one handling this – which we all know you can!
7. When you return- share what you learnt! Show the pictures and be proud of where you went. It’s growth not rebellion! (And one of the reasons why this blog started in the first place)

So what has solo travel taught me?

That I am amazing? Haha just kidding- but not far from the trust. We are all capable of growth and so was I.

Whether it was sitting in the middle of two random strangers on a flight and chatting away and getting to know them (and myself), to making friends across the world that I still have now. I found strength in my character, learnt what I was capable of. Not only could I look after myself, deal with an emergency, be able to survive a fully fledged holiday on my own, I could actually enjoy myself. My own company was wonderful (trust me this was a hard lesson to learn).

Don’t get me wrong, my parents still have questions- how much money am I spending travelling everywhere, if I’m still focusing on my career as I travel, or if simply put I’m being too independent for anyone to get close to me(another conversation for another day). But for me it’s worth it.

A Love Letter to the Ones Like Me

To my fellow second-generation South Asians (and other people who identify with this):

You are allowed to explore.

You are allowed to want more than safety.

You are allowed to follow your curiosity and chase quiet joy.

You don’t owe the world an explanation for wanting to see it.

You are the child of dreamers — it makes sense that you’re dreaming bigger.

So book the flight. Pack the snacks. Share the location. And go.

You’re not just travelling alone.

You’re travelling whole

Follow me on social media, and tag pictures with #twomedicsandacamera so I can share your pictures too!

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